Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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