i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Vodka?
Forever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
