I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
