And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
