just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
