after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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