I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
