ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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