Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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