he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
of course. lets lasso hookers.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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