Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Couch. On fire.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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