I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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