at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
