Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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