I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
