I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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