I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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