you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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