so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
