So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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