Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
