My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
