i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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