just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
