Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
