our cab driver is having phone sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize