I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
