Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
