Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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