i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
