Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
