Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I believe in your delicious
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
