Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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