He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Randomize
