his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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