Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize