why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
