He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
