Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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