Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
