Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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