We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
