Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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