dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You were trust falling into bushes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
