..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
