I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
