i just had sex bonerless
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
