i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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