Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
