Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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