From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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