We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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