I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
