It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize