hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
