She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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