tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
