her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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