I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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