For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
