Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
