and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
